expensiveface:

"that boy is really cute" "wait cara arent you a lesbian how can you tell" you know what. youre right. i forgot to put on my HomoSpecs™, which allow me to view all men as grayish blurry blobs. Is that jeremy?? i can’t even tell now that i’m wearing my HomoSpecs™. all men look like the same unattractive indistinguishable gray haze to me because i am homosexual 

(Source: helianthi, via emalemonade)

80,648 notes

breaking news: i’m a fucking mess

0 notes

ballpointpun:

fuckyeahitsalltimelow:

I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE LIFESAVER MINTS HAVE A HOLE IN THE MIDDLE BECAUSE IF IT GETS CAUGHT IN YOUR THROAT YOU CAN STILL BREATHE.

that feature sounds like a real life saver

(via dooweeooo)

74,335 notes